> ---------------------------------------------------------
> body:   My wife experienced a type of abuse from a preacher at a local 
baptist church. The preacher would always lead their counciling to that of a 
sexual nature. Afterwards he would ask my wife to not tell me. He went so far 
as to tell my wife the size of his penis. This (pervert) man has committed 
this with several other women I have learned after being asked why we left 
that church. But none of the women want to cause any discredit to the church 
by going public. I have spoke to other pastors about this and 
they always say to just forgive the man and learn from it. Then we are to 
never look back. The Deacon at that church wouldn't even ask for the 
perpetrator to resign. This man is a sorry excuse for being called a 
preacher and I can only hope and pray that God will deal with him harshly.
> Please remove my name and address
> Yo  ..

        And thanks for yo'er response to SoCô¿ôL and SoCô¿ôL comments on 
Sexual Harassment .. 
        Actually, I find yo'er tale a common one.  Not in terms of perhaps 
thousands of examples I've experienced in my own life .. but the regularity 
of similar things having occurred to others.  

       I think I understand it, but it could be only my perception.

1)  People in positions of 'power' often experience the end result.  People l
ook at them differently.  People treat them differently.  Thinking of it from 
the other side .. we treat people differently who are in positions of power.  
Speaking in front of groups, speaking on camera, being the 'boss' or the 
'preacher' changes ones life, ones perceptions, and the way one relates to others.

2)  People who are in a position to 'help' others, counsel others, etc. often 
experience wonderful feelings of power.  Their attitude and their behavior will 
often reflect their 'position.'  Along with it comes increased temptation ... 
to use this power to achieve their own ends.

3)  Here is a part of the hard part ... SEX ... may be the most powerful 
communication we have between two people.  A desire to 'get physical' can 
certainly accompany the 'role' being played by the person in position of power .. 
and the person who is not ... OR .. it may appear that way.  

What am I saying .. it's understandable.  The tough question is ... what does 
one do about it ?  It often requires the BEST in us to deal with this effectively ... 
and since it involves many people .. it might require the BEST in all of them.  

IN a church setting, like yo'er describing, the solution must be found in the 
scripture.  Once it's found .. the hard part again is DOING IT.  All kinds of 'self' 
oriented thoughts are going to occur. What about me ?  What about the church ?  
What about the reputation of the church ?  etc. etc. etc.  Seldom are things like 
this looked on as an opportunity to grow .. especially when YOU are involved.  

Yo dude .. I'm not looking for an opportunity to grow . . . I'm looking for this 
guy to stop hitting on my wife .. and others.  

Being truly spiritual is a difficult assignment.  We know that most of us don't 
really pursue it.  Often times, it's not really being pursued by 'the folks' at 
church either.  Preachers are there because they acquired the position.  Deacons 
are there because it's good for their reputation .. it's good for business .. etc. 
etc. etc. How many Mother Theresa's do you find at yo'er church ?  How do we know, 
if we knew Mother Theresa better, that along with the tremendous GOOD she may have 
done, she doesn't have one little quirk or temptation to which she has succumbed.

Nobody's perfect .. no not one.  Protect yo'er marriage at all costs and by all 
means.  Use this as an opportunity to come together with yo'er wife, so that you 
will understand yo'erselves and each other and act accordingly.  Pursue the 
conversation with the clergy .. and with their higher ups .. including God.  
Become a better person as a result of yo'er experiences and, in my opinion, you 
will be doing God's work.

ACT according to what you think is right ... for Yourself and Others ... that's 
the prescription ... Jesus 2nd commandment says it's gotta work for BOTH of YOU.  
You do not have to succumb to the preachers temptation or his will ... neither do 
you have to succumb to yo'er own.   Be a good person yo'erself.  Do yo'er best .. 
and yo'er heart will feel good and yo'er place in heaven will be preserved.

Just Say Yô¿ô !!!

Back To Square One
He said, "She said, he said , Ooooooo" ... The Story
Take the "Not SoCoOL" Harassment Quiz
Yo'er Responses Number Twelve
Yo'er Responses Number Thirteen
Yo'er Responses Number Fourteen
Is This Sexual Harassment?

What The Hell Good Would It Do?
And It Continues

A Word From Our Sponsors

SoCô¿ôL Sponsors ô¿~

© Copyright 1995 - 2009 SoCô¿ôL ... Online, ® All Bytes Preserved.
Robert Kennedy Productions
SoCô¿ôL Services