And ... It Continues






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mycomments:  I have often wondered how many cases like yours and mine are
out there.  It's frightening to me how similar your story is to my own
situation (somewhat anyway).

My story:

I work for a Day Spa were I have been employed for the past 8 years.  It
is a small company of currently 13 employees.  I started part-time and now
hold position of Operations Manager/Sales Person/Receptionist (Basically
whatever anyone else doesn't want to do).  We have been in the same
location for 16 years and are know in the area as being the best at what
we do.  We provide Facials, Body Treatments, Massage, Nail Care, &
Hydrotherapy Service.  We cater to a variety of the area's Profession a
ls, Socialites, & local celebrities.  Everyone in our employ including
myself after given a 30 day engagement/trial period is subject to a
non-compete contract ( which is very common in our industry for this area
).  

1 year ago our business was at its largest size ever (21 employees -
mostly women ).  This increase in size and volume of business ( change in
general ) was met with objections and complaints from some of the longest
term employees.  These 3 women ( we'll refer to as #1, #2, #3 ) were very
hard working & had very disruptive personal lives & complex personal
problems with children and personal relationships.  A 4th female fitting
the same above general description was also my personal friend.  W e hung
out together on our free time in with a group of mutual friends.  Female
#4 at some point became manipulative of our personal relationship and
began trying to take advantage of me and my position at work by requesting
extra time off.  Rearranging her schedule etc.  I met with her and we
discussed that working relationships had 1st priority and personal was
2nd.  She agreed, apologized, and promised to be of no further topic of
problem or disruption at work. She cried and told me how muc h
 our personal friendship meant to her and how she would not do anything to
 harm it.  HA!

This woman, we will refer to as female #4, was the subject of many more
problems.  She just could not follow the rules and always pushed
everything in her personal and professional life to the limit.  We spoke
again regarding her abusal of company policies and our ever growing
conflicting personal & professional lives. We terminated our personal
involvement.  She was'nt very happy about this.  She was the type of
personal that frequently made enemies because of her selfish behavior.  On
the other hand, she was one of the most charming and bubbly females you
would ever become endeared to.  My boyfriend & I ( strictly homosexual )
began declining invitations for involvement where we knew #4 would be
present ( we did not want to be any cause of division of friendships and
loyalties ).  This didn't work out very

well for female #4 because she had taken advantage of others so much in
the past most everyone in her personal life was fed up with her behavior
and chose to slowly disconnect themselves when they figured out what was
happening.  

Female #4 was later fired from work for job abandonment and admitted her
guilt in her recorded exit interview. Applied for unemployment, collected
1200.00 dollars, later was ordered to pay it back to the government,
violated her non-compete agreement, was ordered to comply, and then
threatened my employer ( also strictly homosexual ) with a sexual
harassment suit if we did not let her out of her contract.  We laughed (
this later has proved to not be a laughing matter ).

A few months later employees #1, #2, & #3 decided to file sexual
harassment charges against the owner and myself.  Their claims were that
we made unwanted sexual advances toward them, & discriminated against them
as women.

#2 had been turned down for a position in management in the prior months
#and was reported to have instigated the whole idea as a way for employees
#to get out of their employment contracts and start their own competing
#business.  For a while some of the other employees even entertained the
#idea of filing the charges to join their cause and be a part of this new
#competition.  #2 female is quoted "I want half of their client, half of
#their money, and half of their staff ". This statement and " I 
want enough people to start a class-action law-suit" even after being
verified by other employee's had no relevence on the defense of their
claim.  Later #1, #3 & #4's claims were dismissed.  #2 has now changed her
claim to hostile work environment and has asked for $50,000.00 for her
damages.   

We are a small, yet successful and ever growing company.  #2 female earned
approximately $38,000.00 in the entire previous year.  She collected the
highest salary for our company that year.  In defense of our case this
far, we have spent $65,000.00 in attorney's fees.  We have been advised
that mediation is the only way out of this situation and an eventual
pay-off to #2 female is the only way of ending this without more
attorney's fees and court costs.

This whole thing has caused more heartache, sleepless nights, health
problems, & anxiety than anyone except you Bob could ever imagine.  Our
society had become one in which everything is about who can I sue to get
some money and how much money can I get without working for it.  It's no
wonder more companies are going out of business today than ever before.

NEXT

mycomments:  I am a 21 year old student in the UK and 2 months ago I was
quite badly harassed. It happened only in one evening but has haunted me
nearly constantly since. I had been sexually harassed 30 months prior and
what happened there was far worse but I was too young and not head strong
to be able to cope with it, it was also far more frequent. I am male, both
harassers were male, I am hetrosexual but not racist toward gays, now I am
finding it harder to trust them. I hope you don't mind

but I am simply going to post an email I wrote for a friend in here....

****email start****

Written Dec 11 2000

I worked at a pub called the kingsway hotel in Mackworth in derby, the
manager was quite dodgy and used to scrimp like a fucker, reserving the
drip trays and the like. He was also tres gay, or at least bi. He was
engaged, however his fiancée did look like a man. He would try and find
excuses for the guys to stay back after work and get them to play strip
poker and the like. I don't know what he wanted off the staff but he had
the keys and the pay slips so you always felt trapped, he was also v e ry
mouthy and if you're 18 and up against massive peer pressure and have
little life experience then what could you expect. Cut a long and
depressing story short, he probably still has a photo of me in the buff,
probably go me to masturbate into a glass and all this really made me hate
that job. I left feeling violated mentally and a little bit physically.
That was sexual harassment but I was too young to know it or maybe too
young to be able to comprehend doing anything about it. His pub has s ince
had a major fire and refurbishment, unfortunately he is OK. This
experience has left me with much mental torment and still haunts me from
time to time. It freaked me out big time. Unlucky for it to happen once,
how about twice....

Last Monday, one week ago, Dec 4th 2000. Since Julie left, I am the sole
barman on a Monday night. Since Marie is off with her mother, Clive is in
charge. The circumstances that this cam about in were very rare, in fact
its the only time I've been alone with Clive, except tonight if I wanted,
but I very very don't want it. He asked me to stay for a couple after
work, and after a hard nights grafting I decided that I would like a
drink. These drinks were not paid for and Marie would be very dis t ressed
to hear about it. Couple of pints and he starts flirting, but Clive flirts
a lot so I just fob him off, try not to take offence and continue joking
with him. Then he keeps going on about how good looking I am, and I
continue in the same vein. I go for a piss, he asks if he can hold it for
me, I tell him to piss off and head to the urinal. Halfway through and
Clive comes in and stands a little down from me and starts staring at my
c---, now this is a little awkward, all I can do is tell him to fuck off
and fool myself that he's just pissing around, I cant put it back in my
pants as I'm halfway through a piss. We sit back down at the table and I
think that maybe it would be best if I told him briefly about the kingsway
hotel and how he was starting to freak me out a little (big!). I don't
know if this warned him off, well, actually it didn't, maybe it did the
opposite, maybe he saw a victim. He continued to ply me with drinks and
cigarettes, and I was starting to feel that warmfeeling in the belly. He 
starts going on about my c---, trying to pay me complements?, and then 
says, oh just let me suck it. I tell him to fuck off and still hope he's 
only flirting, all the while I'm getting these flash backs from the kingsway. 
Then he decides to get his d--- out, at which point is really starting to 
freak me out and I tell him so, he seems a little apologetic and puts it away. 
He continues going on about wanting to suck my c--- and how his blow jobs are 
the best. He suddenly decides to put his hand down my shirt to see if I have 
much chest hair and then looks a little down for a second (maybe that was for 
my benefit, to make me feel a little bit more comfortable). All the time 
continuing with the c--- sucking thing, offers me more and more drinks, then 
decides he feels more comfortable if he takes his trousers off! Offers me more
drinks, I and feeling like I know where this is going and decide that
anymore drinks and cigarettes are going to send me a little too far 
and I don't know where that road would leave. I made my exit, thankfully
I could see the keys the last think he was going on about was that he
reckoned he had a hard on. He really didn't want me to go, but there is no
way I'm letting sexual harassment go to sexual assault go to rape. I don't
know where it would have ended. I know that the scenario keeps repeating
over my brain though, I know I can't concentrate, I know I've broken down
into fits of tears many times since.

Amendment for 22 Jan 2001

And still I can't concentrate, fall silent and depressed at social
occasions with my friends and still he crops up in my head. I want this to
end.

****email end****

I just want to know if this is sexual harassment. The UK police can't get
involved as it is civil law. I don't seem to be able to find anyone that
can help me. I can't work there anymore if he were there or not, which he
is even after I told my manager. I can't get over this and all he's had is
a finger wagging.

How do people deal with it and not let it affect them TOO much?

yours faithfully,
Chris Green
____________________________________________
NEXT

mycomments:  i think you are very rude people because i have sexual
harassed and all you people are doing is making fun of it! I was 5 years
old when i was harassed and the boy that had doen this to me was 15!i am
12 now and i have been trying to get over this for years. i think about my
harasse night after night after night! and i came on here to see if this
could help me and you have just made things worse!! There are milllions of
people who have been sexual harrased and trust me once you have been
harrased you can never get it out of your mind!I am not trying to be rude
but please just try to help people that have been harrased not make fun of
them THANKYOU 

NEXT

mycomments:  I believe that sexual harassment is absolutely ridiculous and
disgusting.  the only men who commit this disgusting act are men who are
absolutely nasty or just can't get any.  they have no lives and feel
that's it's fun to do something to someone that make them feel totally
violated

NEXT

I always hear sexual harassement against woman, but I am sure that
men are sexually harrassed by woman as well I have seen it happen. But yet
there are far few articles on male sexual harassement could you please
send me anything that you have on male sexual harassment. This is needed
for my school project.

Your right ... by FAR the MOST complaints of sexual harassment come
from women complaining of the behavior of men

NEXT

mycomments:  I think that if someone is so desperate as in touching her
when she doesn't like it ten something is wrong with their heads!!!

NEXT


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