With God Involved
From: Dave Burgin
Organization: Red Mountain Remodeling
To: rkennedy@socool.com
Subject: So many - which one

Praise God the Father & Jesus The Saviour Son,

Thank's for being here.

Which one, there are so many thing's the Lord has shown me to Prove his Existance, and so many thing's the world does to rob me of them.

The one That mean's the most to me, was when I FINALLY ACCEPTED HIM.

I, in my life, had alway's felt that there was more to all this than meet's the eye. In that I mean, it seemed to me that all I saw around me, beside's people and building's, not that that is bad, but I mean the ocean, sky, tree's, mountain's, sunset's, which by the way, I now photograph, had to come from somewhere, or some one other than all the people and building's.

I was alway's in awe of these thing's, and was alway's in and amongst them, and inside, somehow felt a knowledge of He who put it all together, and believed in that. However, it seemed to stagnate in just thought, and never seemed to progress.

I now know, that we are all born with the knowledge, but in the process of growing, and social development, we get carried off onto other track's, and our thought's of this, are for the most part distracted by the wile's, woe's, and intrigue's & discouragement's of the day to day issue's of life and happening's.

Now-day's I find myself saying, especially in troubled times, Lord, Speak to me in word's. I'm not so good at visual showing's, I'm an ignorant man Lord, Speak to me.

I hear other's say, God spoke to me, or I had a vision last night, and I think to myself, why don't you do that for me God. Maybe if he did, I couldn't handle it, or maybe he really doesn't need to, or already has in this story.

About ten Year's ago, after 7 yr's of marriage & 4 youngin's, I started becoming starckly aware that it was all falling apart, and that which I thought was all mine, and couldn't be taken away, got took away. MY CHILDREN.

I grew up in the 50's & 60's and was rite in the middle of it all. the dope, long hair { which has grown back } and all the other thing's of that time, and in San Diego to boot.

About the time of my 3rd child in this marriage [2nd], I had given up all form's of partying, and was putting a construction bus' together, and was doing quite well, at least until the realization that I was losing my family.

I'm very weak when it come's to alone and losing, and in what was transpiring. I searched for something to fill the emptiness with. Old time's entered my mind and remembered that crank/speed had a way of occupying the mind, so off we went, me and my new mate, crank.

For a long time, I was involved in the drug, but kept to home and away from the bar's and party's. I had gone back to the other house we had bought as a fixer upper, and spent the next year fixin up, and not just the house.

One day, or night I should say, after being up 6 day's as usual, I totally fell apart with all of everything. I was alway's aware of what I was doing, but when I didn't have none, the emotion's returned, and couldn't deal with it, and this particular night, I couldn't deal with any of it any more, not even my friend, crank.

My grandfather had recently given me the 38 police pistol he got when in the Sherrif's Posse, way back when, and that night I layed on the floor on a bed roll, and Simply Said; God, you've got till morning to let me know something, one way or the other, or I'll finish it myself. Some Say I should'nt talk to God that way, & I didn't know better, as I hadn't talked to him for nearly a hundred yr's. A long time anyway.

The next morn, there was a banging on the door, & I do mean banging. I woke up hostile because of the intrusion, and went to the door, and before I could vent my anger, there stood one of the only 2 guy's that seemed to care about me at all, with tear's in his eye's.

After the proper, what's wrong, he told me that Linny, the other of the two, who by the way was losing his wife and 4 Son's, had just blown his brain's out in front of her and them. At first totally caught of guard and saddened, I soon became angry, because I realized that now I couldn't do it/kill myself/ and felt Linny robbed me of that, then shortly after, realized, or felt that, that was God's way of talking to me, and telling me that he's not going to let me go.

Shortly after that, I moved to SW.Washington, to live with a bro, who after 6 yrs of no contact whatsoever, called in the middle of the nite, And a couple month's later moved up here. A no place else to go type thing, But that's when it all came about.

The nite I got here, the house was full of family, most of whom I new from yrs past, and soon found out they were their for a funeral. 1 of the son's hung himself in jail, and though that was a real bummer, it was the best thing for me, in that I put all my trip's aside, and gave myself over to the family, for the shoulder to cry on, the unbiased ear & so on. Man I needed that, To get out from under my own issue's, and feel like I was needed again. I thrived on it, and told no one of my problem's.

The next day, I met the Lady who was Girl friend to this boy who took his life, and she had a 5 mo. old girl and 9 yr. old son, and who was suddenly alone too. At the time Her nor I realized just how alone she would be.

A couple day's later, all left, and I sat in my room at my friend's and she set alone at her house, with absolutly no one to comfort her.

A few nite's later after thinking about her sitting there alone, and knowing the feeling only to well, I asked my friend and his wife if they thought it would be ok in the eye's of other's {ya know how we think} if I was to go over and see if I could comfort her {not physically} or maybe listen and or share our experience's. Some thing I've been pretty good at and done alot of in my life.

In doing so, a number of thing's transpired. 1 I found was that she had just started going to church, and loving little baby's, offered to baby sit, and wound up doing just that, but also more. After a couple of week's I went with her one nite to church, and BOOOM. GOD, JESUS & the HOLLY SPIRIT got ahold to me. The third time I went, I went up fornt and accepted Jesus as my Lord & Saviour, and was personally given by Him, this Lady and her youngin's, and WE BOTH KNEW IT.

Neither one of us wanted a relationship, especially after what had just transpired in our live's, and Both, especially her really battled against it, until we realized, we couldn't, and have been together every single day since. No split ups, no walk out's, and very few argument's since. It'll be 9 yrs this coming January 12th, and still going strong.

So many thing's have happened since then, Trial's a tribulation's, Experience's, and more blessing's from God that I feel one of my kind really doesn't deserve, But he does, it none the less, and without my even having to ask.

Sometime's I still feel guilty, as I did then, about Linny Killing Himself, for I feel that if I hadn't asked The Lord to let me know one way or the other, Linny wouldn't have killed himself, and what came to pass because of it.

But I love Jesus with all I have inside, and thank him for all I have Period. Sometime's I sure don't show it, But that is what refreshen's my knowledge of how great & loving he is, in that he forgive's me, & still give's his blessing's, and protect's me from the really ugly thing's.

He still let's me go thru the trials and trib's, and sometime's wish he wouldn't, but I know his reason's for it, and do my best.

I came to the Lord thru Adversity, and am glad for it, because I now know for a fact, his Grace, Glory, Love, and The reason For sending Jesus, and also now know where all the tree's, mtn's., and all those other thing's came from.

After a job injury a little over a yr ago, and wondering what to do with the rest of my life, and all the thought's that go with, the Lord Put a PC in my office, a Camera in my hand's, and the opportunitie's and abilitie's, and source's to go with it.

I now am a Freelance Photographer, and all my work is of Nature, Scenic, Sunset's, Mountain's and Tree's. Am putting a Photogallery on the www, have been givin a place here local to display my work, and have already sold some.

On my web page, I give the credit to him, and dedicated my web page to him, and show his creation's and art on it.

Thank's for letting me share this with you, & I won't be offended, if none other see's or read's it. What is important to me, is that I confess Jesus to man, so that he will acknowledge me to the Father.

What is important to me however is trying to show folk's that If God will do for me, he'll do for anyone who will let him.

I extremely enjoy fellowshiping in the Lord And chatting with any who will. My E-Mail box is alway's open, as is the door to our home.

I am of no denomination any more. the rhetoric, hypocrisy, bickering about who's rigith & wrong, which church is the best, and so on & so on, has sent me home.

My relationship between The Father, Son,& Holly Spirit is very personal to me, and sharing them with anyone who care's & will & want's to listen is where it's at for me.

To me, a religion or denominational factor is irrelevant, only that they believe in Jesus is what ultimatly count's.

Jesus say's ; I will gather my flock from among all the church's, seeking those that are pure of heart, and only those who believe in the Lord JESUS the CHRIST, will be saved and have everlasting life. PRAISE GOD.

Again, thank's for listening.

Sincerly, Dave Burgin ....
daburgin@techline.com
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