From: Prophet02@aol.com Reply EMail
I guess I've always been a "good" person. I grew up knowing there was a God, a father figure who was watching from afar, but I never thought he could or would be able to help me. I had morals, I didn't steal, or kill people, heck, I wasn't even envious- why was my life such a mess? You know - smart women, foolish choices? Well, lets just say I had made my share of foolish choices. Married and divorced twice by the ripe old age of 25. Two children and no skills to speak of, with the exception of a brief stint in modeling, I had no idea how to make ends meet. So I answered an ad in the newspaper one day.BE A DANCER They told me if I didn't make $2000.00 my first week, they'd pay me that much in cash. I thought I couldn't lose. I was wrong. I stripped in bars all over the country for the next 4 years. I made thousands of dollars every week. I travelled and met people and bought things. I lost my children, my self respect and my dignity. I drank day and night trying to forget all the people I had loved. I drowned all my feelings in drugs and booze. I was "happy". I smoked two to three packs of cigarettes a day, and as much pot as I could get my hands on.
One day a young man walked into the club I worked at. He sat down and I went home with him that night and slept with him. We started dating. I really liked him. He was cute. What kind of miracle is that? you say. Read on... That weekend he asked me if I wanted to go to church with him. I went. I figured it couldn't hurt. A few weeks passed, we were still dating. He was very intelligent, handsome, caring and strong. I felt a growing attachment to him, but I couldn't admit it to him - that would have meant giving up some of the control. I was beautiful, I had the control. I was in control of my own life. He picked me up outside the bar every night for the next few weeks.(I didn't drive - had no car, no license, I rationalized that it was because I didn't want to drive drunk) I would be falling down drunk, ecstatic that I 'd made big bucks or crying because I had a bad night. But Always Drunk. He listened, held me, cared for me. One night, almost two months after we had met, I came out of the club crying, swearing I'd find a better club to work at- the men here didn't appreciate me- I was wallowing in self pity. As I got in his truck, I felt like something was wrong. He drove me home, he wanted to drop me at my door, (He told me later that he couldn't stand to see me drunk, hated the smell of booze, and that he was ready to break it off that night, but he had decided to wait till I sobered up to tell me) but I begged him to spend the night. I cried in his arms that night and he asked me to pray with him. He led me through the sinner's prayer and I committed my life to Christ. I made a promise to God that I would trust Him, I would live life His way, I would follow Him.
I never went back to the strip bars. That was five years ago. God gave me the strength to turn my life around. He has returned to me all that I thought was lost forever. God has reunited me with my children. My teenager came to Christ this past summer at a mission trip. God has blessed me with a beautiful voice. It has been my heart's desire since I was a child to be able to sing. I quit smoking a year ago and I rarely take a drink. I teach children's church and have a heart for youth ministry. He has restored my self esteem. My life is far better than I ever would have planned. I thank God every day for sending that man to witness to me, and to give me loving encouragement. He is my husband and we have been married for over three years. Miracles DO still happen. I'm living proof.